Life for me is getting so crazy! I just found out one of my sons has decided to start shooting heroin since he got kicked off the meth programm he is also being investigated by CPS along with his girlfriend concerning the care of my grandson....Another son and his girlfriend have court Monday for robbing the Rite Aide (they have two sons and are both facing time - not either's first offense)....another son is slowly getting worse...while his life falls apart and he swears he is done with the drugs (I can barely understand him while he gives this speech due to being high) and finally I am just sitting on the side lines waiting for the new grandson to be born in November to Meth (and benzoe) addicted parents...which I will have to step in most likely! Does it ever end?
Good Morning Rosena, This is too much for anyone to handle. Your plate is truly overflowing. I've had blocks of years like you are having and looking back I'm not sure how I did it. Here's some silly advice "Try not to think too much right now" Do what you can for the babies because it's the right thing to do. I took care of two grandkids until they were eight. Don't expect anyone to be grateful. If I hadn't taken these kids they would have ended up in the system. You won't be thanked by any one but no matter you still have to do what's right.....Thinking of you, Love, Deb
Hi Ann.....So the "little darlin'" is in jail. I'm proud of you for not ansering those calls. Maybe he will get scare straight if he feels he's losing you. Who knows. It's happened.
When grandaughter M was in jail here I wouldn't take the calls (Chuck and I had been through all this hoop-de-loo time and time again). The bail bonds man called and asked us to put up our property...I said "No". He said "What kind of grandma are you?". I told him "I'm a grandma who's fed up and done." Then I said "I'm a fat pancake that's done, turn me over". (I know I've told this story before but just had to tell it again for the new people.)Anyway this bailbondsman got M out himself and they went to Laughlin for a weekend. Then M jumped bail. Ha! Ha!.Bet there's lots of stories like this out there. Hang in there. Love Deb
Hi Ann, Hang tight. Remember that he is insane at times.
I talk to my friend Janet in Las Vegas Her son Terry attacked her in the middle of an argument and broke several ribs and caused several other injuries. Thank God someone else was at her house and saved her. e was arrested, is now in a Nevada prison. Been there 10 years. He may get out on parole this year. I asked Janet if she thought he would go back to meth. She said "Yes". She said she will have to sell her house and disappear from him.This is so sad.
Ann, I can tell you have thought of leaving. You may have to in order to save yourself. Is that radical? If you had a husband acting this way, you would have to leave.
Ann, I was wondering, Since your son is Bipolar, does he take medication? The reason I ask, is that my son also has been in jail several times this year.He has a muscle disease and requires 3 medications. But when he is in jail, they do not give it to him. So when he gets out, he is left open to relapse due to chemicle imbalance, depression and axiety. Do they give your son his meds, if he is taking any when he is arrested?
Rosena, I am keeping your grandbabies in my heart. I hope they wont be too badly affected at birth from the drugs. We adopted out two daughters from drug using parents. And as luck would have it, neither had drugs in their systems when they were born. But yes, they are both ADD, ADHA. One has faired well and the other is doing well after putting her father and I through hell all through high school. Neither one of them is an addict!!!!!So do hold hope. Oh, Ann, by the way, my son is in jail again this week too. One thing he told me on the one phone call they gave him....I was so upset ( as usual) and he said, "Mom, I am safe here, and I can not use". Please dont be too upset. I try to remember this. Bad thing is, I see that a man who has threatened him so many times is now in there too. But anyway, tell your son, jail just might be Gods Hotel.Thinking of you, Ren'ee
Ann, It is hard to make these adult children take their medications. I know. I have knowtised that the addicts who use Meth seem to be bi polar and schizophrenic too. so I can imagine the one who already have these mental conditions would only get worse on Meth. This is just so hard. My heart goes out to you also.
Dear Rosena, Bless you and the grandbabies. Try to take care of yourself during these difficult days. Get outdoors and take a walk in the sunshine. Do something you enjoy every day. I wish I could heal your heart. Stay strong. Hugs, Marie
Right now I am a little angry at a post I just read. David stated from John Lennon, Hold on, just hold on. Things usually get better. They do! I am sorry to disagree but I do. I have been fighting this issue for over 15 years and things only seem to get worse. Every once in a while there is a glimmer of hope, but it is quickly snatched from my eyes by reality when the next crisis approaches. Am I strong? I must be to still be alive in the midst of all the craziness! I don't consider myself strong at all...and no matter what every person has a breaking point! Trust me....
No wonder you are overwhelmed! Everyone who recommends that you take care of yourself and find something you enjoy is right. When there is so much negative that is going on the last thing you may feel you have time for is taking a walk or reading something you enjoy or listening to a favorite CD- but that's when you most need to carve out those few minutes. As far as holding on, things will get better - that may not mean that things change for your addicts, but it is possible that you will get past the darkest despair. My heart goes out to you - my son is an addict- currently in a halfway house and clean- but I know how insane things can be. Even when things are ok those of us who are parents of addicts know the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop - serenity is really hard to come by. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Try to have faith that you won't always feel this bad.
Ann, just reading over your comment regarding depression. I believe during the crisis, we react and our adrenaline just takes over. It is not until the crisis subsides, we have moments of reflection. It is always the calm before the storm. My moments of depression are worse now than when my daughter was actively using. I don't know what to do with myself, I wait for the relapse and am always on guard, just waiting. I reflect back to years lost, childhood lost and fear the unknown. Knowing was better. When she was using, I knew that and accepted it. Now, I constantly anticipate a relapse. I do find forcing myself to leave the house and find a place of serenity helps. Journaling helps. They say once they are in recovery, things get better. For the addict of course it does, for us, the worry never stops. I still second guess every thing she says wondering if it is lie, find myself checking her pupils, just in case. I analyze why she calls at certain times and if it is a cover. She would always call me after she called her dealer. Yes, we become addicts as well and our recovery is a long process. Depression, loss and fear remain long after sobriety. Your said it right, grieving.
Rosena, I continue to think about you as November approaches. I hope you are finding some peaceful moments. As much as we as parents deal with our one addicted child, no one here can imagine your pain with four. Please keep us updated and take care of yourself.