Hi all, My son who will be 21 this month is coming home from rehab today. He has been sober for 4 months. I have been a nervous wreck all week. We have set up boundaries and rules, and I hope all goes well. He will be living with us. Please say a prayer for our family and send some advice if you have it. Thanks.
I certainly will pray for all of you. Keep your guard up. I pray he received the tools necessary to keep himself sober. I also pray you have taken care of yourself while he was away and had an opportunity to take care of yourself and enjoy life. I wish you all the best....
I was just thinking about you and wondering how things are going! I hope you still visit here and know we think of you and your son! Coming home is a wonderful, but stressful time when coming home from a treatment facility.
Well, my son has been home for 5 days. He is going to meetings, got a sponsor, is in out-patient treatment; then why am I still upset? He just hollered at me because I told him that his father and I want to talk to him tonight. He assumed the worse, when honestly it was just a talk to see how he's doing, what rules are working, etc. We need this talk because although he is doing well with what he is supposed to do, he is on the phone very late at night, on the computer until all hours, and when he gets tired he's awful. Well, he did get a job and will start hopefully Friday. I think I'll go to a meeting myself. Have a great day all and thanks for your support and prayers.
Bless you. It is such a roller coaster and yes, it is exhausting. Glad for your son getting a job. Thats good. I get the same gesture from my son when I want to TALK. He always feels instant pressure and defeat, even before I tell him what I want. Yet, if I sit still next to him for a while, he starts to talk freely about his life. Sometimes this will answer the questions I have without me asking. He will ask for my opinions at times, and still, never really likes, or trusts my opinions? I do think that if we can be there to listen, they will talk because they so badly need to. They learn in thier meetings to talk about their fears, and struggles and victories. Just hope they will bring that home to their family too. It really helps to go to Alon on meetings and talk with others in our situation. Talking here is really helpful too. Take care, Kiah
Thanks Kiah for your advice. I will try to just sit and listen. I think the problem is that he is 21 next week, but still acts as if he is 15. They say that happens that you stop maturing when you start using. The problem is, they also say to treat them like their chronological age. This is hard. Thanks for everything and have a great day! Cinder
The thing is.... you have to treat the psychological adddiction as well as the physical addiction. Getting clean is only part of the story...you have to get sober, which is an actual state of mind. A mind that is clear from actually wanting the drug. Even conformed smokers speak years after quitting of smelling smoke and it triggering the desire all over again! Its more complex than just cleaning the body of the drug!
Ann, you are exactly correct when you stated "exhausted" was probably nervous because she was afraid something would go wrong down the road. I fell into that trap with my daughter after she received help the first time in rehab and started to go to NA meetings. Within 6 weeks she was back on drugs and had a major accident. Parents need to realize that their child needs to want the help and not just get the help to satisfy parents. Good Luck Exhausted and do not feel out of place when you question your son- you have every right. Also going to the meeting is an excellant idea. Good Luck!
Ya'll are great! My son is doing well. Things seem a bit easier as we start the 3rd week at home. School starts tomorrow, so everyone is going to be busy. I am going to have a "yeah school is on" breakfast with my friends. Everyone hang in there. In numbers there is strength and with God all is possible. I am going to work on my optimism this week. Know that you are all in my prayers. Cinder