I would first hope that you, Nic wife and other children are well. My father just passed away April 1, 2011He was 80. Months before he passed he kept pushing your book, Beautiful Boy at me. My was he ever insightful to say the least! I read only certain things that peak my interest like history. I finally gave in and was reading my son Joshua,s story. There were so many parallels to the feelings of the father, divorce, guilt, AA, NA and on. Your taste for John Lennon, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen. My son Josh just turned 23 and is doing better although I am suspicious of his activities. Your book has shown me that I'm not alone. I love my son more than life. I too was obsessed with his addiction in trying to find a cure for so many years. I am 50 now and have been with the woman of my dreams and she and I share a very good life together. I have learned to let go of Josh's issues in that they are his issues. I am not responsible for his happiness. I am always there for him but it is with conditions. I hope to hear from you one day Mr. Sheff, your words were very well written and gave me hope and freedom. Freedom for myself and not being shackled to this addiction/sickness. It's taken too long to get where I am but, I know life is too short and comes a time one has to move on for the better of all. Thank you again for your insight and beautiful gift.
I had to learn to cope with my son's addictions the very hard way, as most of us do. I now have three basic rules - Always love them, if they are clean you let them in the house and help them as much as you are willing and able (you have to be careful with this one)if they are trying to better themselves. Before i adopted these three rules i was always second guessing myself therefore i am thinking i was most likely sending mixed messages. My son is now clean 10 months and is downstairs studying for his finals. I know that can change in a heartbeat. But my son knows what my boundaries are. All i offer is treatment and recovery. It sure simplifies life. Take care