Houghton Mifflin Discussion Forums

Replies: 3

missmymom

Posts: 32
Registered: 5/23/10

still here
Posted: Aug 26, 2010 3:58 PM

Hi everyone. Even though I have not posted I have been checking in with you all each day. I am sorry for all the newcomers and to all who remember me and have advised me in the past, I am sorry and hopeful for you. I have been affraid to post. My son is home with us, he is working part time, he is registered for college and will start in September. Is he clean? He says he is. Sometimes I believe him. It just seems that little by little these signs(?) or these actions, or these too familiar things are happening again. I have no proof. We said we would trust him. I almost searched his room the other day and stopped myself. My problem is I don't really know my son, is this him off drugs? He was doing them for so long I can't tell and this is embarressing and killing me. I am trying so hard to look at him each day as just my son, not just an addict. When he gets angry I wonder, is he using. If he sleeps late, I wonder. If he eats late at night I wonder. I have sat down with him and told him of my fears he said not to worry. My question is how can or should I, ask him to do a home test without having him think we have lost trust in him. Any advise is welcome and don't be affraid to hurt my feelings because I am feeling really stupid right now. I guess I just don't want to believe it could all be happening again. Mothers instinct.

Winnie

Posts: 105
Registered: 9/26/09

Re: still here
Posted: Aug 26, 2010 5:34 PM

I was once told by an addiction therapist to trust my "mommy flags" Trust has to be earned. i have been where you are - still there actually. My husband and i previously made excuses for signs of using. Well that did not turn out very well. If your son is clean he should have no problem taking a drug test. You are not doing your son any favours if you think he is using it has to be caught early so he can get back on track sooner versus later. i am in no way saying he is using but if you have any doubt you have every right to ask for a drug test. I may sound very tough but addiction is a tough disease.

Shelby

Posts: 1
Registered: 2/10/11

Re: still here
Posted: Feb 10, 2011 10:33 AM

Always listen to your instincts... and if he feels you are not trusting him, he shouldn't complain. He made the situation into what it is. you have every right to feel the way you do. God bless.

Winnie

Posts: 105
Registered: 9/26/09

Re: still here
Posted: Feb 11, 2011 7:20 PM

My son is now 8 months clean - we still have him drug tested weekly - that was a rule for him to move back home. I have taken the stand that all i support is clean or treatment there is no guessing. I explained to my son that trusting him had nothing to do with it. I do not trust addiction or the addict. Unfortunatly or fortunatley depending on how you want to look at the situation our family has been thru way to much (just like everyone else on this website) and it was up to me to deal with it heads on (my husband is way to easy and soft)So i am supportive as long as he is clean. My son knows that and he knows what he has to do. So far it is working so i will keep at it.