Houghton Mifflin Discussion Forums

Replies: 8

waterdance

Posts: 624
Registered: 6/10/09

High Desert Report March 29, 2010
Posted: Mar 29, 2010 2:09 PM

Hello All, It's morning still hear, dogs asleep after their run across the field, men picking up trash out of my dumpster, brother in room coughing (dying from smoking).
Talked to youngest, Janice last night. She's suffering from pains throughout her body (having tests run). She thinks she may have fibromyalgia arthritis. I suggest quiting smoking, new diet. She won't listen to this. But I'll say it anyway.

Stella the oldest has bought a house, has been robbed already. Grandaghter, daughter, ex-son-law, daughter's boyfriend have all moved in. Stella works on e-bay (is good at it). No one else working. Guess they went through the 90,000 already in 3 months???!! I don't look for any of them to give up using and it's not just one drug, it's anything that comes down the pike. I'm writing to tell all of you that your children can become old junkies if they don't turn their lives around early. I don't know the answers but many do escape this God-awful drug life and live better lives.Hugs, Deb

cindykay

Posts: 284
Registered: 6/5/09

Re: High Desert Report March 29, 2010
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 9:23 AM

Deb, your strength continues to amaze me. With all going on, you are able to find the little things to brighten the day and find peace in your surroundings, whether it be flowers, storms, sun or just going out in your "Sunday's best." You are an inspiration to those posting who feel it just never ends. The reality of it is that it doesn't. Even in sobriety, the addiction never ends. You are finding ways to move forward regardless of the chains of addiction attempting to hold you hostage. My daughter is speaking in April to a group of women regarding sexual assault and rape. April is National Sexual Assault and Awareness Month. The healing process continues.

waterdance

Posts: 624
Registered: 6/10/09

Re: High Desert Report March 29, 2010
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 2:25 PM

Good Morning cindykay...Good Morning All...Chuck out walking Lucy Sue. She's 10 months old and races through this house like crazy. I put a load of clothes besides the washer. Next thing I know half the clothes are outside in the yard. The walk helps. She can reach the counters now so things are changing on how we operate.

Thank you for thinking I'm brave. Guess I was in some areas of my life. John dying and Stella not seeing me has knocked me for a loop. I was so ill last year from grief that I feel I almost died twice. Had to get tough with myself.....read extentsively....did a lot of soul searching...thought about how much I still had. My life has been interesting, rich in experience, always had an positive outlook, have had basic good health. Have been stone cold lucky I didn't have alcohol or drugs take me under. I've done my share of partying (little drugs).Reading "Emotional Resilience" helped. I have finally accepted my losses. If you don't, you don't heal. More in next post.

waterdance

Posts: 624
Registered: 6/10/09

Re: High Desert Report March 29, 2010
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 2:36 PM

Cindykay, How great your daughter is speaking to groups about her rape etc. That's brave too.Tell your daughter that she may have flashbacks throughout her lifetime. Knowing she may have them is better than not knowing.I don't feel you ever completely recover from rape but with training your mind you can still have a rich life. Tell her to read Alice Miller.All of her books.Wishing your daughter the best. Please let us know how her talk turns out. Hugs, Deb PS Ypu can get books at low prices on half.com and e-Bay.

cindykay

Posts: 284
Registered: 6/5/09

Re: High Desert Report March 29, 2010
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 8:16 PM

Deb, sent a thread and this one too has vanished....will wait a day or two and see if magic happens.

still hopeful

Posts: 25
Registered: 9/25/09

Re: High Desert Report March 29, 2010
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 8:16 PM

Your life is as none stop as mine, just in different ways. Something that helps me through the rough times were words that came out of my addict son. One of the occasions that he showed up asking for help, I looked him in the eyes and said "I do not know how much more he (being god) thinks I can handle". His response to me was "Mom, he only gives it to those who are worthy". So when life is dealing too much to my hand, I think about those words and I gain strength. I can tell you are a strong soul, for all those you look out for.

tc

Posts: 71
Registered: 1/2/10

Re: High Desert Report March 29, 2010
Posted: Mar 31, 2010 8:36 PM

Deb: you are an inspiration and your posts help me and I know others so much.
Cindykay, So brave of your daughter to speak. I believe there is power in sharing stories of rape. Your daughter and you continually give me hope for my own future.

waterdance

Posts: 624
Registered: 6/10/09

Re: High Desert Report March 29, 2010
Posted: Mar 31, 2010 10:15 PM

Hello tc, Hello cindykay, Hello All! Quiet day here, Chuck home from work.
I think I write somewhat hard these days. I write for myself and others to become more aware of what we are in for with people around us being addicted. I have been in the sleep of denial for many years and lived with hope day and night which I no longer think is healthy. With this God-awful hope we do put our own lives on hold and play a waiting game looking for any tiny glimmer of recovery. All the while thinking if only my precious child would live a normal life my life will be "complete".My kids would do and say what I wanted all the while thinking about how they were going to finance their next binge. I for one think they become addicted just as I became addicted to cigarettes. Was smoking cigarettes a disease??? I quit smoking cold turkey in 1982. Did I have a disease and cure it in a few weeks?? I quit smoking for myself alone....strickly because of my health. In spite of decining health I feel people continue drugs because of the high. What does everyone think on this subject?? Hugs, Deb

tc

Posts: 71
Registered: 1/2/10

Re: High Desert Report March 29, 2010
Posted: Mar 31, 2010 11:06 PM

I believe it is a brain disease and that addicts process alcohol and drugs differently based on their brain chemistry from day one, first drink. I learned at a seminar on the science of addiction that addiction affects the part of the brain that is for survival--the part that tells us to go up for air if we are drowning. That is why pleading and reasoning doesn't work with a using addict--the part of the brain that addiction affects is stronger than the logical part. For them, saying no to a drug is physically impossible, the only choice they have is to choose recovery. Unfortunately, as parents, we can't choose that for them. If only we could. I agree with what you said and as difficult as it is, we can't sacrifice our own lives to their disease.