Our son, now 18, too suffers with addictions to marijuana and hydrocodone. We have all been dealing with this addiction for more than four years. I can't begin to explain the heartache, pain and distress his addiction has and continues to cause our family. He has been through two different rehab programs, one court ordered and the other as a result of our threats to kick him out. Still he is using. He has lied, cheated, stolen more than you could imagine from everyone in our house, including his 2 year old niece. How do you forgive? When do you say enough is enough. My husband and I are at our wits end. Our other children 23 and 19, both still at home in college and gainfully employed are disgusted with his behavior and angry with us for not kicking him out. I don't know what to do??? I pray but that is all I can do. He doesn't want to stop, though he feels he has to. He has no money, no job, and no goals. Reading beautiful boy was like talking to a friend, someone who understands where I'm at and where I've been. Most people don't understand who haven't had addiction painfully touch their lives. My mother was an alcoholic, another story, but somehow that was different. This is my CHILD, as parents we are supposed to "fix it" and I can't. So now dear people I ask for your wisdom. What do we do??
This is such a difficult situation. Our son used meth for years- had jail terms, sentences in halfway house, rehabs - similar story to what many on this board have gone through. He had a warrant out about 2 1/2 years ago for not complying with probation- we told him that he had to turn himself in and that he couldn't stay with us any longer. He completed last jail sentence, went to halfway house but then relapsed once he was out of the legal system.
Fortunately the relapse scared him enough to go back to rehab. During the last relapse he was living back with us & we were struggling once again with how to handle the situation. After he got out of rehab, at his counselor's suggestion he moved to a sober living facility. So far so good- he seems committed to sobriety this time. It is definitely better that he's not living with us.
People who haven't been through addiction find it hard to understand- it's easy to say "kick him out" but when it's your kid it's so difficult to do that- we couldn't stand the idea of him living on the streets, starving, being a victim of violence, etc. However, before he went to jail the last time we really had reached out bottom, just as addicts do.
I know you've probably gotten this advice before, but counseling and Nar-anon or Al-Anon meetings can help a lot.
I am so sorry for you family's pain. It's good that you are reaching out for support.