Today in memory of John Lennon, on my car radio came Beautiful Boy, and I came undone. My beautiful boy is a mess, beginning this unthinkable life at 15 and continuing right to today at 22 resulting in heroin addiction, hepatitis C, multiple arrests, jail time and homelessness. I used tough love from the get go and it didn't even rally matter. He asks me for nothing, and I want to beg him to come home and let me take care of him. I have never done anything as difficult as resisting that urge. I think that's love, is it? Love hurts, right?