Hello All, Here it is, almost October. Still a bit warm here in the afternoons....Record heat in Phoenix. Still have my 3 Sugar Baby Watermellons on the vines...not ripe yet. Tomatoes still doing well. I've been a bit weepy latly. I'm sure all of you know what I mean. Knowing I can't change certain past happenings overwhelms me sometimes. And I feel like I'm waiting for a train wreck to happen and there's no way to stop it. There's no net under me...another feeling. Still going to new chiropractor 3 times a week. I am better but sore and somewhat fatigued. I reach for the beauty of the day and that helps. Saw a pale yellow butterfly at the purple cone flowers. Thinking of all of you, Love, Deb
Hi Deb, I know the feeling about being weepy. I have my good days and then there's a memory, a song on the radio, or kids walking down the street, then I think about my 19 year old daughter out there. When I see a young man with his wife and kids, I can't help but feel sadness over my son (31) lonely and living either in rehabs on soberhomes relapsing all the time. I say the serenity prayer often and it helps a little. We are powerless to save our children or grandkids only they can make the choice to heal and be well. But even though I know this, it still doesn't make it better in my heart.
Good Morning Fatima, Good Morning All, Fatima, I think of you and yours often. My oldest Stella (not her real name) was at one time a real beauty. Today she has lost her health and looks and I think part of her mind. She says things about people that are absolutely untrue. She also seems to have lost memory of happenings. She is now criminal. I feel she may be selling drugs now to support herself and pay for her drugs.I have read enough by now to finally quit blaming myself for what I imagined went wrong. About 6 years ago I gave her a home here...her own room...she didn't have to do anything but get well. This is an an outstanding area. Good weather and lots of beauty.Chuck and I provided healthy food and loving support.She still made up lies to get to Phoenix every few days for drugs.(I was still in denial but starting to realize what was what). Chuck and I were the real suckers of the family. I say "were" because we no longer support the addicts. Our goal is to get ourselves healthy emotionally and get our finances straight. I'm still having a tough time. I reinvent myself each day. My life is still rich. So is yours Fatima. Love, Deb
Hi Fatima & Waterdance, I so know "weepy", all too well. The only way I can try to keep weepy at bay is to stay extremely busy and even then something will happen out of no where to bring on the tears. A little family, someone's grandchildren, the children's department in a mall, on and on and on. I am now working on getting myself healthy and getting my finances in order. Not an easy task when you've given your life up to save your child and their still walking the hellacious road of destruction. We all know that if love could change them, they would be ok, but that is not true is it? Having "run away" for two weeks I am looking back and seeing some things I could or should have handled differently. We just do the best we know to do at the time and after a while we start getting confused and exhausted. We all still have richness and goodness in our lives, we just have to continue to try to notice them and enjoy them, if only for a day :o) Love to you both, Ann